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Saxton Hale
Saxton Hale is a daring Australian, President and CEO of Mann Co. He is considered the fourth richest man in America. He was the sixth richest man in America, but surpassed the fifth by wealth and the fourth by killing him in a harpoon duel. His favorite pastimes include fighting, drinking, killing furries and battling with other ferocious animals. In fact, most kids sleep with a teddy bear at night, but Saxton Hale sleeps with an actual bear that he tamed while in the Brazilian Jungles. His identifying features include a mustache, rippling muscles, a crocodile-tooth lined hat, and a patch of rotating chest hair shaped like Australia. He also refuses to wear clothes on his upper body "for obvious reasons". Saxton is the most current male of the Hale family to take up the reins of Mann Co. since Zepheniah Mann left its ownership to loyal aide and tracker Barnabus Hale in his last will and testament. His boisterous presence is felt in all areas of the company, from the slogan "We sell products and get in fights" to Gorilla Wrestling Fridays – his attempt at employee morale building. He also fills out customer forms with tick-boxes to either intimidate any product-thieving rivals or commend new inventors submitting a new product idea to him. His inspiring image is also featured on numerous Mann Co. catalogs and promotional materials. He is known (and feared) for his belief in handling customer service issues personally, with his official policy being: "If you aren't 100% satisfied with our product line, you can take it up with me!" Notable achievements Cutting his way out of "primate hell". Teaching his Girl Scout troop, the "Saxtonettes", fire safety tips such as "Grizzly bears burn". Fighting off a lion while simultaneously having a haircut. Single-handedly wiping out the Indonesian Berserker Shark (and making them cry). Retrieving a stolen puck from a thieving tortoise despite its thirty minute head start. Inventing Jarate, the JAR-Based karate. Becoming the wealthiest man in the Western Hemisphere. Becoming the fourth richest man in America. Firebombing Woodstock from a helicopter. Being in no way involved with the explosive death of the American monkeynaut Poopy Joe, nor being anywhere near the launch site at the time. Introducing the Crafting system to both the RED and BLU teams in an effort to stop the war. Publishing a special issued magazine (at a price of 20 cents per issue, even though it was demanded to be free) to answer questions made by his fans about, among other things, playing Team Fortress 2 on a Mac. Discovering the existence of the Internet and starting the Mann Co. Store. Purchasing England. Having a website made up entirely of absolutely true Saxton Hale facts. Killing the perverts at AnagramYourName.com. Hosting the First Annual Saxxy Awards. Inventing the "high-five". Eating a whole ostrich. 'Manslaughtering' 1593 physicians. Defeating Dr. McNinja in a popularity contest. Slamming a Yeti with a Scout. Jumping off a thrown Scout to punch a Yeti into a mess of blood and gibs. Category:Furry killing squad Category:Characters